Chapter 4: Footprints on my bladder

The Culprit

I've Got Footprints On My Bladder

by Patricia Graham

Oh, I've got footprints on my bladder.

I've got babies on my brain.

All day long I'm a-chatter,

'Bout clowns or dollies I'm gonna frame.

My stomach is expanding

And is restless and demanding.

Do ya think I kin ever fit

Into a dress the size I'm gonna git?

I wonder what "Ish" would say

If he saw me standing this-away

Surveying my expansion

-a-itching and a-scratching?

How long d'I hafta wait

-afore I git to hatching?

Oh, I've got footprints on my bladder.

I've got babies on my brain.

The sex, it doesn't matter,

But I can't think of a name!

At the time Pat wrote this she was Assistant Editor of the Littleton Independent.  December 1969