In late 1991 my husband died after a long illness. He was strangely surprised that I "took such good care of him," but I thought after fifty years of keeping our wedding vows to "love and to cherish" each other "until death us do part," that no other course was to be considered.
He had said his goodbyes to Janet's children, grandson Andy and granddaughter Sarah, together the light of his life.
At the moment of his death Janet had finished packing all her worldly goods in a van, ready to start driving from Fort Collins, Colorado, to our home of almost 50 years in Arlington Heights, Illinois. As always she was very helpful in arranging a warm memorial service and a blustery, rainy burial service.
Janet and I had some important health decisions to make. She needed to find new good doctors to take over treatment of a mysterious lump in her jaw, and I too picked an eye surgeon to replace my defective eye corneas so that I could drive well again. My short trips to the hospital had been fraught with danger of going over curbs and rocks, several of which I had actually already done. I had my first eye surgery very soon. Janet found a wonderful doctor for herself, Dr. George Sisson, to be her physician, surgeon, friend and partner.
In the week following Art's death there was a stunning electrical storm which darkened our lights and disabled most of our electrical household appliances. We spent a lot of time taking the microwave over, televisions, toaster, everything but the computer (which fortunately had not arrived yet) to various repair shops. All of theme were very difficult to find. We felt that we were traveling, like Joe Btfsplk, of cartoon fame, under unending showers, trying to keep dry under a tiny umbrella, while all around us were enjoying sunny weather.
The time came for Janet's first surgery on that lump called the parotid gland. A good sized group was with me including a young lady minister and friend, a soon-to-be minister Tom Barth, the long time friend of Janet's from 3rd grade, Sue Culliton, who about that time promised Janet to take her to all future medical appointments. Sue was destined to wear out her good car taking Janet to Northwestern Hospital, Rush, Presbyterian, St. Luke's Hospital, University of Illinois Hospital, University of Chicago Hospital, the Neutron Radiation location in Batavia. What a promise, Sue, and how you have honored it!
During many of these surgeries and medical visits as well as the follow-ups, I have remembered Meryl Tullis' advise to look up, way up, before the torrents of tears can take over. Between Janet's friends and mine and my wonderful church, our families and neighbors, we have never felt abandoned. Instead we have had great support all along.
Text: Lois Trever-Basten "Seven Wonderful, Terrible Years"
Images: Joe Bflstck images captured from a great blog entry http://www.ronmartin.net/blog/archives/1312
and
http://rexwordpuzzle.blogspot.com/2010/12/joe-btfsplks-creator-fri-12-17-10.html
originally drawn for Andy Capp comic by Reg Smythe who died of cancer in 1998
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