Chapter 1: In the Beginning

That's right, we're going ALL the way back!

I've added some photos, but the intro is just as she wrote it.  Enjoy...

Janet age 5.

I think I would have been a shy child, adolescent, and young adult dreaming of growing up to be a competent and well liked teacher (with inspiration on some days), a loving wife and mother living in a safe middle class community: security and preserving the status quo the major goals for which I’d strive. I think I would have made a good grandmother, a stable member of my community, local school district, and home church. I think my goal in life would have been to do the right thing, to make things look good (especially on the surface), to avoid rocking the boat and getting negative attention, to be considered by all a “nice” person. Since my female relatives generally die in their 90’s in nursing homes, that probably would have been my lot as well.

Jan age 8.

But this was never to be. My bouts with cancer throughout my life have left me at the mercy of any staggering drunk, precocious child, or agitated sojourner who happens to cross my path and loudly comment on my appearance. Life’s timing has often left me without financial resources, questioning life’s fairness and meaning, struggling to get insurance, a roof over the heads of my children, and find a faith that would carry me through such rough times.

Jan on the far right in the back yard of the Dunton house, Arlington Heights, Ill.

At the same time, my brushes with cancer and the visible different in my face have brought into my life experience such extraordinary people who have enriched my life into dimensions I could never have imagined from my idyllic, safe, little world. The places I have been, the things I have done are so far from my original expectations of life. I have to come to recognize it as “stretching” into the new from the old. I am covered with stretch marks!

Jan as a teacher.

So many people have influenced and supported me these 53 years of my existence. At one point in 1992 I put out a call to friends across the country for guided imagery/visualization tapes to help me make it through a brutally rough time after the neutron radiation, and more than 30 tapes arrived in the mail in the next two weeks. I have decided to share some of these people with you as I write, to weave them into the story. I’ll begin with my mother.

Loie, mom's mom, sitting in the foreground.

(note: I can't describe my reaction to these photos.  I never saw my mother with two eyes, so her childhood pictures have always been a bit of an enigma.  In more ways than one, I can't recognize her as my mom until after she lost her eye.)