Chapter 4: Footprints on my bladder

The Culprit

I've Got Footprints On My Bladder

by Patricia Graham

Oh, I've got footprints on my bladder.

I've got babies on my brain.

All day long I'm a-chatter,

'Bout clowns or dollies I'm gonna frame.

My stomach is expanding

And is restless and demanding.

Do ya think I kin ever fit

Into a dress the size I'm gonna git?

I wonder what "Ish" would say

If he saw me standing this-away

Surveying my expansion

-a-itching and a-scratching?

How long d'I hafta wait

-afore I git to hatching?

Oh, I've got footprints on my bladder.

I've got babies on my brain.

The sex, it doesn't matter,

But I can't think of a name!

At the time Pat wrote this she was Assistant Editor of the Littleton Independent.  December 1969

Chapter 3: I'M A SWAN!

Mom begins chapter 3 saying she always listened carefully when anyone talked about swans.  She loved Hans Christian Anderson's story of the Ugly Duckling, but also references a fairytale of a different sort:

A Hindu story says that swans, as represented in the order of Saraswati, represents the priceless skill of discrimination and discernment.  Supposedly a swan is able to drink in fluid but spit out the water while swallowing the milk that was in the mixture.  It reminds me of Virginia Satir's advice to "taste everything, but swallow only that which fits you."