Strawberry Friday: Tree

Tree

I am no longer afraid of mirrors where I see the sign of the Amazon,

the one who shoots arrows.

There was a fine line across my chest where a knife entered,

but now a branch winds about the scar and travels from arm to heart.

Green leaves cover the branch, grapes hang there and a bird appears.

What grows in me now is vital and does not cause me harm.

I think the bird is singing.

I have relinquished some of the scars.

I have designed my chest with care given to an illuminated manuscript.

I am no longer ashamed to make love.

Love is a battle I can win.

I have a body of a warrior who does not kill or wound.

On the book of my body, I have permanently inscribed a tree.

Mom writes: Someone in AVANTA gave me a great poster picture of a bare breasted woman who had apparently had a mastectomy and then a beautiful vine tattooed all across her scars.  I loved it and hung it in my bedroom.  Sometime, over the years, I would hear my kids explaining my strange collection of art to their friends while they were passing through my room.

[yes, I can confirm the poster was hung prominently and proudly, and took some getting used to]


Photograph by Halla Hammid, words by Deena Metzger, poster design by Shiela Levrant de Bretteville.
Image credit: Deena Metzger, as viewed on http://www.fawi.net/BC/heroines.html
Text viewed at http://www.donnellycolt.com/catalog/humrightposter.html

Chapter 5: I Am Woman Hear Me Roar

Mom says, "I went around the house the next week singing Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar."  What follows I find hard to believe and understand.  Maybe others can empathize.

In her own words:

Somehow part of it was exhilarating.  I began a water aerobic exercise program at the YMCA just days out of the hospital.  The dressing flowed out of the top of the bathing suit as I swam with my head above water.  Two weeks out of the hospital I began the masters program and a counseling internship placement in nearby school systems.  I felt I had no more time to give the medical world.  I did very well in my classes that were in the evening; the girl next door would come over to babysit my school-aged children.  Being in a counseling milieu is a great place to be during a major life transition, and I felt I handled all of my issues up front the best I knew how.

Now this I sadly believe, and so timely to our own time:

I did not pick up a dating and social life afterwards, and it was clear that being in the midst of a divorce during a mastectomy was a tricky process in terms of self esteem and body image.  I had to stop the divorce proceeding because I was not insurable without the military, and could only begin it again after I had been hired the next year as a school counselor.